Will you be our watchmen?
We are struggling to pray, we just can’t do it! The thing is though, we really need to. It feels like we need to pray like we did in that ICU waiting room but the set up isn’t exactly the same. Back then the sense of God’s presence was so powerful on my life and I felt like he was giving me things before I even asked for them. It was an incredible thing to walk with Him in that way and I really did learn so much. Life is very different now. It’s not on hold anymore and we are going through all the stages involved after a spinal and head injury (which is a lot).
I have mentioned a number of times on my Instagram that life had been a little tough this summer but we have never felt that we were able to share why, it felt too personal (and it still does). I know that there have been a few prayer requests sent out more recently but up until now that has felt like all we could share. But we are desperate. I literally sit here, typing at my kitchen table, feeling DESPERATE for somebody to help us. I went to type this two weeks ago but that was the night Andy was taken into hospital with high levels of infection. That’s a whole other story but he was in for seven days to fight a couple of infections that were pretty nasty.
When Andy was in Musgrave it was drilled into us about the importance of being careful with his skin and regularly checking that everything is ok. Part of this was making sure trousers didn’t have zips or buttons on the back pockets as Andy wouldn’t feel if they were doing him any damage. We very much accepted this information and went about getting rid of the bad clothes and buying some new comfy stuff that would be kind to his skin. He didn’t have any issues and the fact that his bed and chair weren’t the highest kind of pressure relieving cushions was never an issue. It actually filled me with a little confidence that his skin was good and that made life much easier for sure.
At the start of the summer Andy realised that maybe his shorts didn’t quite fit him as well as they did the summer before. We were putting it down to the fact that they may had shrunk in the wash but it’s funny how all of our stuff would have shrunk eh? So Andy got two new pairs of shorts, long enough that they didn’t look like short shorts when sitting down and nice and light for the warm weather. Perfect.
“Oh they have zips Andy, I’ll have to take them off before you wear them”. I said it, it was me! I had every intention of doing it but then, didn’t we completely forget and after all day Sunday and Monday wearing them, I noticed Andy had a cut where the zip was. I freaked out, like properly started to panic and told Andy how bad this was, how life was about to get really hard and that we were total idiots for letting this happen! The nurse came out the next day, looked at the wound and said that because it wasn’t pressure damage it would heal up in about a week and that we really didn’t have anything to worry about. I felt better but I didn’t really believe her, I couldn’t imagine how it would improve that quickly as Andy had small cuts on his legs before that took forever, but then again I’d never dealt with anything like this. It has now been 17 weeks and things continue to get worse. It is not a case of slow healing, but fast decline and I can honestly say that it is ripping me apart. If you haven’t already guessed, I feel solely responsible for the fact that this even happened in the first place, but getting past that, I feel so utterly helpless, yet completely responsible for the solving of the problem.
A district nurse has been coming out at least 3 times a week since, which in itself is a massive inconvenience to life. You wait around for hours some mornings only to find out they aren’t coming that particular day. Now we totally understand the set up of this and that it isn’t possible to come see Andy at the exact same time everyday and that those who can, try their best to do so. So it isn’t a dig at them, but no matter how good it can be, it is still a life limiting situation. My mornings need to be spent getting things done and I’m generally not very good at that anyway, but because of a lot of communication and consistency problems over the summer, I feel it is essential for me to be here when the nurse arrives and then suddenly I’m realising that I only have one hour before work. This set up has been so difficult for us, life has not felt normal and we are so limited to the things that we can do.
Andy hasn’t been able to go swimming for months as this appeared around the same time he was cleared to swim after fracturing his ankle in March. Swimming is SO good for him and its something he really enjoys so the inability to attend that is really frustrating. We also wanted to get away somewhere for a few nights over summer but due to the wound, we chose to head to the roe park for two nights instead which turned out to be a disaster also! Honestly I could go on but the point is that life is feeling so limited for us both and the whole situation is really affecting both of us in huge ways.
The reason I am sharing all of this with you is because we need you to pray. We are exhausted, worn out and honestly I feel like I have given up all hope that this will ever heal. It sounds dramatic but so much has been happening and all my energy is gone, yet I am still responsible for making everything better. So my method of doing that it to ask you to pray when I can’t find the words to do that myself. We are doing everything we are told. Andy is on the highest level of pressure relieving cushions and mattresses and he spends most of his days in bed (which is awful). Everybody seems to have differing opinions on what will work for the wound and so far nothing is working and I have been doing a lot of shouting to get anyone to make decisions. So this is what we need you to pray for:
- The correct dressings to be used
- The decline to stop
- The wound to heal
- Communication and consistency from the medical teams
- Patience for Andy to spend as much time in bed as necessary
- Stress levels to reduce
- Fear of the future to be gone in the name of Jesus.
In the name of Jesus.
“O Jerusalem, I have posted watchmen on your walls;
they will pray day and night, continually.
Take no rest, all you who pray to the Lord.
Give the Lord no rest until he completes his work,
until he makes Jerusalem the pride of the earth.” Isaiah 67:6-7